The gift of friendship in later life

A Nursing home, by definition, is a place where people live and receive the extra care that they require when that is no longer possible at their own home. However, moving into a Nursing home is not simply the end of a person’s story. I would like to share with you a remarkable story of two of our residents, with their permission of course.

Irene’s story

Irene was born in 1924, in the town of Barrow in Furness, where her grandfather ran a paper mill. Work brought Irene’s parents came to Birmingham when she was very young. The family first settled in Witton, later moving to Great Barr. Irene attended school in Erdington, later gaining a place at Erdington Grammar School after passing her 11+ exam. During the war years, Irene was evacuated to Ashby De La Zouch for a time, before returning to the family home in Great Barr. As an older teenager, Irene drove ambulances during the latter stages of the war although she never officially passed a test! Her working life was spent at Tufnel’s of Perry Barr in the typing pool, Harris & Sheldon (shopfitters), and most enjoyably working for Hoover, where she was a manager for the Midlands’ region.

Irene was very happily married to Norman for nearly sixty years, a union that resulted in two sons, Tony and Graham. Christmas day was an especially happy time in the household as it was also Norman’s birthday. After Norman passed away, Irene lived alone for several years, but she remained active with various local groups and social activities until a fall at home left her with a broken leg.

Phillip’s story

Phillip, meanwhile, is a relative youngster, having been born in Aston, Birmingham, in 1933. Phillip grew up in Great Barr and has lived most of his life there. He went to school in Beeches Road and later attended Handsworth Grammar School. A keen sportsman, Phillip’s love of cricket meant that after passing his school cert. he chose a path which allowed him to work and continue playing cricket rather than go to university. Phillip started his working life at the age of sixteen, working for the wonderfully named Leopold Lazarus. Phillip worked in a laboratory, working with non-ferrous metals. He subsequently studied metallurgy and spent much of his career working for Delta.

Phillip and his beloved wife Shirley were married in October 1959 and remained together until Shirley’s passing in 2014. Their marriage produced two sons, Malcolm and Alistair.

Finding new friendship at Robert Harvey House

Phillip first came to Robert Harvey House as a visitor when Shirley was here for respite. Shirley later became a resident here until she passed away on Christmas Day 2014. Phillip returned to Robert Harvey himself following surgery on his shoulder. Initially, he came for respite, but returned later the same year as a resident. Following Shirley’s passing, Phillip spent some ten years alone before somewhat unexpectedly meeting the lady who would become not only a friend but someone who he could call his partner.

Irene’s journey to Robert Harvey was rather more straightforward, having chosen to move here following her broken leg. Although her sons gave her a choice of homes, Irene chose Robert Harvey House, not least because of the animals that she could see when going around the garden.

Being a sociable type, Phillip enjoyed conversations with residents and staff alike. However, it was conversations about the delicate subject of politics that first brought Philip and Irene together. As their conversations became more frequent, other mutual interests came to light, including music, poetry and sport. Over time, this friendship has deepened, and Phillip and Irene have formed a strong bond. Most afternoons are spent together in deep conversation, listening to music together, or maybe watching a film or sporting competition on the TV.

Recently, the chance arose for Phillip to change rooms and become Irene’s next-door neighbour, a chance Phillip was delighted to take. Irene and Phillip enjoy lunch together most days, sometimes Phillip assists Irene as she finds it difficult to handle the cutlery. After lunch, a chat with other residents is followed by a return to Irene or Phillip’s room for tea, coffee and a relaxing afternoon together.

It was serendipity that brought Irene and Phillip together, but over time they have become inseparable. Irene and Phillip both feel very lucky to have found each other and to have developed a close and loving relationship.

At Robert Harvey House, we like to consider ourselves as a family, more than just a home. Surely, nothing can exemplify this more than this touching tale of two “good companions”.